About 12 years ago, I noticed that I didn't care much about anything. I was frighteningly tired all the time and my voice was kind of rough. This lasted four months until I finally decided to go to the doctor. I told him I was either depressed or I was a jerk. He did some blood tests and said I had Mono. He said I'd had it the whole time, but now it was going away. I have never been exactly the same since then.
I've struggled a lot with fatigue, and I have never been quite as smart as I used to be. And now for the last three weeks, I've had a sore throat and not felt sick. But I'm really tired. And I seriously do not care about school at all. I'm finding it hard to care about much. I know something's wrong, because it's harder to listen to the kids when they talk to me. And I don't have a problem with that under normal circumstances. I love when they tell me stuff and want to talk. I'm also feeling very sensitive and emotional. This all totally wrecks our homeschool.
We've been only doing the boring bare essentials, and it's getting to us. I guess it's time to see the doctor or naturopath. If I found out I had Mono, at least I could be less upset with myself for being this way. You know moms need permission to be tired. Especially homeschooling supermoms, right?
I helped Sam study for his test and then he took it today. I haven't graded it yet, but I think he did fine. Sarah was working on her study guide, but it was all that mathy stuff and I couldn't help her with it at the time; so I had her stop. We'll see tomorrow. Rachel loves her science book. I love her doing the book and not taking the tests. I might have Sam and Sarah stop taking the tests in their books. Sam would love that, but I think Sarah wants to do them because she's "supposed to." I told her they were just a tool for me to use with her if I chose to, but she still has that feeling of should.
We finished that book they hate today, and they were so relieved. At least it ended well. Now what to read next! Sarah's sitting by me reading some stuff from a writing course I took over 20 years ago from The Institute of Children's Literature. I think it's called Institute for Writers now. Oh, I loved taking their courses. They really did an amazing job. She's amused at some of the stuff I wrote. It was fiction, which is not my strength!
See you tomorrow!
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